Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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