We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He felt like a one man threesome
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
