yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
