Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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