Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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