I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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