Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize