i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
