im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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