Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
