You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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