haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
