I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
