Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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