Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
