i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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