the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
