I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
