I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize