You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
