I think I am morally bankrupt
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
