I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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