New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
