Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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