yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Even my vagina gasped.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
