if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
