I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You are a genius and a whore.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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