I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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