Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
