Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
