Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
