I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
