do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
