omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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