I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Four minutes until I can fart!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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