He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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