I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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