there's paper in my vomit.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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