hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How naked do you want me to be?
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