The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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