You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
