I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
