we're chasing vodka with high fives
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
