ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
