We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
