tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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