3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
