How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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