I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
