I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you didnt know i had herpes?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
