sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im holly from the hills drunk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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