She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
grandma shit on top of the toilet
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
