Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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