it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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