If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize