just tell him i said nine months
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
