so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How does it feel to date your dad?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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