You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
